my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”
(via jesusmaryandjosephstalin)
ok but do u realise how intimate it is to sleep fACING SOMEONE
and when you start to fall asleep and you keep kinda opening your eyes and drifting in and out, every time you open your eyes you see that person across from you, you look at them, and they’re sleeping facing you too and you make eye contact sometimes and you’re just LAYING THERE, GOING TO SLEEP, LOOKING AT EACH OTHER
DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND HOW INTIMATE THAT IS
(via jesusmaryandjosephstalin)
“Hey sexy lemme talk to you”
“No thanks”
“MAN FUCK YOU YOU UGLY ANYWAY HO I WAS JUST PRETENDING TO LIKE YOU 1 CAN GET 3 MORE BITCHES THATStill not done reblogging this forever
(Source: everythingrhymeswithalcohol, via suavishretention)
Apparently this was how the 1996 presidential election was decided
(via suavishretention)
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
(via jesusmaryandjosephstalin)
